Why else would 3 perfectly intelligent children stand around on a patio doing nothing more than chewing gum on a super sunny ninety degree day?
Confucious Says:
House Rules = No Chewing Gum Allowed.
Any and all chewing of gum by persons of non-mortgage-paying status is to be done off-premises.
This rule must seem mean and just a bit over the top to some of you, I understand, but I find it reads much better than this slightly longer than average headline:
Several Household Children Reported Missing Shortly After Freak Expensive Carpet--Chewing Gum Collision. Sources Suspect The Two Incidents May Be Related.
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