Naughty But Nice.

How else do you describe the kind of self-indulgent shopping trip that leads you to dresses you must make an appointment to see?

The designer for Dancing With the Stars just happens to be located here in Arizona. That is fortunate for me, because I got to spend an afternoon there playing dress up.

I'll be honest - I expected dress-up time to feel like those nostalgic princess days - it actually felt a lot more like swimsuit shopping in front of the cast of What Not To Wear.

.
And, technically it was playing dress down rather than dress up
(As in dress down to practically nothing while assaulting several innocent human eyes with my less-than-adequate-for-public-display body.)

Some parts of me did not stuff into some parts of the dresses.
Some dresses did not have places to stuff any parts of me.

One of the dresses in my dressing room was worn by Cloris Leachman.
I really could not bring myself to try on that dress.
I may have been a little grumpy that someone thought it was a good idea to bring it to me.

I began to think that maybe dress up was not as much fun as I remembered.

And then...
THEN...
I found my dress!

I knew it was mine because when I put it on I began to jump up and down
(Yep. I did.)
and twirl
(Yep. I did that too.)
and I did feel quite like a princess.
Perhaps it was the polka dots and pink fluff.

You probably think I am joking.

If you google "People's Choice dancesport" you will see the reason that I deserted the blogosphere for the past few days. It was there that I took my new dress for it's first spin.
(Or first 30 spins?)

If you were there, then you got to witness the super-fun debut of my new dress. Otherwise, you are having to wait until after the competition (done!) and the photos come back (not yet...).

Because I can find all kinds of creative ways to be superstitious for no good reason.

A very shrewd DWTS fan might even remember my dress from the show.
But I actually can not wait to show it to you.
Because that is what dressed-up princesses do.

Stay tuned...

Did You Miss Me?

Just say yes.

.

I have been on many adventures!

I have much to share with you.

Tomorrow.

Tonight I must sleep.

.

Good Night Friends.

Easy to Please.

My Birthday is coming up soonish.

(No, I am not going to tell you when.)

(I like to capitalize the word Birthday.)

My kids are already talking about it, so I suppose it's okay if I talk about it too.

( I love how for kids the ultimate insult and act of unfriendshipness is to loudly declare

"You can't come to my birthday!")

(The whole day, not just the party.)

Just so you know, I will be turning 23 again.

(No! I am not going to tell you how many times I have turned 23.)
I like age 23 - it's my favorite.

I have started a birthday wish list for all of my loved ones for easy reference:

*Melissa Rycroft's abs.

(From Dancing With the Stars/Formerly from the Bachelor - but it is her DWTS abs that I request - they are much improved, no?)
*If they are not available, I will take Edyta Sliwinska's.

No Prob.
*A view of the ocean from my backyard, like when I used to live in California.
*And also from my bathroom window please.
*A third arm.

Removable - so when I'm not so busy I can take it off for aesthetics.
*A remote control with a mute button that works on rude people.

And on whiners.
*Non-Fat, 0-Carb, Negative Calorie, In-Everyway-Harmless-But-With-The-Same-Taste-And-Sinful-Quality Cheesecake.
*The real Johnny Depp.

Just to look at.

*Oh, and there's that holdover request for the magic wand from last year...

I tried to provide both plenty of notice and lots of choices so as not to be difficult.

Stomp!

One word: Outstanding.

Two words: Exceeded Expectations.

Three words: Go See It!

I thought Stomp would be a great show, for about the first half hour.

I thought it would even be a pretty good show for the second half hour.

I thought I might pack an aspirin for the third half hour.

Wrong!

This show was great from beginning to end. The whole show was full of creativity far beyond the clips of garbage can lids and brooms and stomping feet I had seen over the years - though it had plenty of that too. I just couldn't wait for each next act to start so that I could see what else this talented crew could possibly turn out!

And - SURPRISE - it was hilarious!

There was humor laced through the whole show, and even my 7-year-old spent the evening on the edge of her seat cheering and bopping her head.

In a nutshell - this was a great night out!

Next up: Wicked!

Oh, we can't wait!!!

Opposable Thumbs

Who needs 'em?

Love Is...

The feeling I can't help but have for someone who not only brings Cheesecake Factory cheesecake to my door, but gives me five good reasons why they think I deserve to have it.

(As if...)

No paper plates for this bad boy - He's going right onto the brand new plates.

(Pretty plates make food taste better.)

(Love also makes food taste better - ask anyone in my family and they will tell you it's my "secret" ingredient.)

(Since this cheesecake has both love and a pretty plate, it is destined to be heavenly.)

Diet shhhmiet.

Thank you Diane - You made my day in a most delicious key-lime way!

Irony.

I become human at precisely 7a.m. and not a minute sooner.

Isaac (age 2) does not understand this.

I am sure that is why he insists on regularly waking me up at 5am. If only he knew the different creature his mother would be if he would just read a book, make breakfast and wash the car during those 2 hours - and wake me at 7:01. I promise he would like that mother - that well-rested pleasant woman who smiles and speaks coherently.

Well, he is not destined to meet her anytime soon.

This morning I woke up to the sun streaming into my bedroom through the shutter slats at a quarter to six. Hey, 5:45 is an improvement over 5a.m. Who am I to complain? I love waking up to sunshine - there is something primally satisfying about it - but where was my little buddy this morning?

My little buddy!!

One flying leap from the bed and a sprint down the hall later I found that he was not only still breathing, but sleeping soundly.

He had randomly selected today to sleep in until 7:30.

Exhale.

After my sunshine and adrenaline rush cocktail, I was tempted to poke the baby and see how he fared with a little involuntary sleep deprivation of his own, but the woman who wakes at 5:45 a.m. is slightly nicer than the one who wakes at 5. (And I did suspect that the fallout from such a dirty trick would only be secretly enjoyable for about the first 15 minutes of his cranky toddlerness.)

So I just stared at him for a minute.

I took in the way his curls frame those chubby little cheeks, and the way his baby mouth pouts.

And then I let that little angel sleep.

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

Why not?

Any reason to be happy is good enough for me.

Some Cinco de Mayo Trivia:

I was proposed to on Cinco de Mayo.

Exactly 4 months after we started dating.

Exactly one week after our first kiss.

(I know - that was an excruciatingly long time to wait for a first kiss.)

(But kind of warp speed for a proposal, don't you think?)

Must have been a great kiss right? For him to have proposed exactly one week later?

Wrong!

It was such a bad first kiss, and I had waited so long for it, that I grabbed him by the shirt

((Just like in the movies))

and made him kiss me again immediately so as not to consign him to the crummy kissers club forever.

Turns out it was just nerves.

3 Months later I was married.

Isn't life just jam packed with great stories?

That is why I write.

And that is why I blog.

Have a great day!

I Am A Big Fat Liar!

Honestly.

Liar liar pants on fire.

That's me.

Example:

I said I would never paint a single wall on our main level again.

The ceilings are 10 feet high, and our only ladder is 6ft tall.

The last time I taped off the ceilings on our main floor (so that I could paint the walls), was a near death experience.

I teetered on top of several phone books stacked high on our short ladder with my arms stretched to capacity, while I laid painting tape along the ceiling - like only a recovering perfectionist can.

Until the phonebooks slipped from beneath me.

The good news is I lived to swear I would never do that again.

The bad news is I lied.

Isaac was up way too early today and destined to take a marathon nap.

I could have taken a nap too.

I could have caught up on some laundry.

...or started a book, or run on the treadmill, or made a few calls...

Shoot! - I could have done a lot of things with that time!

Look at what I did: (Well... some of what I did...)

I have no idea why I keep doing this to myself but, now that all the prep work and taping is done,

the painting is imminent.

My arms will pay for this for days.

I will ruin my shoes with paint specks.

Sure, the hallway will be beautiful, but I can't help the sneaking suspicion it may have been just as beautiful if I had Googled the local painter.

.

Other lies:

I will never shop at Wal-Mart again.

I would rather have rock hard abs than cheesecake.

Lies!

Can we still be friends?

For The Love Of Gum

Why else would 3 perfectly intelligent children stand around on a patio doing nothing more than chewing gum on a super sunny ninety degree day?

Confucious Says:

House Rules = No Chewing Gum Allowed.

Any and all chewing of gum by persons of non-mortgage-paying status is to be done off-premises.

This rule must seem mean and just a bit over the top to some of you, I understand, but I find it reads much better than this slightly longer than average headline:

Several Household Children Reported Missing Shortly After Freak Expensive Carpet--Chewing Gum Collision. Sources Suspect The Two Incidents May Be Related.