TMI

I am warning you, that TMI stands for Too Much Information.

Seriously.

You really didn't want to know this about me.

I can write about it if I want to because - as you have no doubt noticed, I often come here to vent - but you are under no obligation to read any further.

And you have been properly warned.

Stop reading.

Stop.

Stop it.

Go do something.

Last chance...

Okay, so, as a very generous holiday gift, and in thoughtful response to an incident of my complaining (in logistical detail) about certain grooming requirements, I was awarded the gift of Laser Hair Removal.

(Hey, look, I warned you.)

I first need you to know that as the prior recipient of frying pans, a broom-vaccuum combination contraption, and valentine's day cards with Snoopy on them, I was actually pretty thrilled with the choice of gifts this season. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind "bad" gifts. I am not even the type that minds no gift at all. (Sometimes the no gift option being preferable.) But, hey - this was a gift I could use!

So why tell you about it now? It is March, and Christmas was in December, yes? Yes. Well, sometime after celebrating the fact that I could sever my relationship with the salon waxing lady, but prior to running off and making my service appointment, a couple of thoughts occurred to me.

#1. Wait a minute! How exactly is this done?

#2. So, again, um, How exactly is this done?

Well now I know.

I would not write about this, except for the fact that I had no idea what I was in for. So, in case you ever wondered:

This is done by baring all for a spa technician who operates an ultrasound-looking device (but much meaner!) and repeatedly zaps you where the sun does not shine. The good news is that this happens relatively quickly - the whole appointment took about 15 minutes. The bad news is in those 15 minutes this device delivered hundreds of seering hot rubber-band snaplike light rays to every hair follicle.

While I found the physical pain cumulatively nominal, the emotional pain of presenting myself to a perfect stranger in such clinical lighting is ongoing.

This is why it took 2 months to make that first appointment.

Now I must go back for 2-3 more sessions to complete the process.

I am waiting for that childbirth phenomenon to set it - you know the one where you really only remember the better parts, so you are willing to do it again.

I dunno. Not quite the same.