I have a disorder that prevents me from picking up the telephone. I want to, but just as I am reaching for the receiver I notice that I left 2 piles of unfolded laundry on the living room floor...
I go to fold the laundry and half way through I notice one of Joey's dirty T-shirts discarded in the pile...
I march that T-shirt to the laundry room in a huff, and while I am there I get a whiff of the cat litter box. That's Not My Job Darn It, so I go to add it to the honey-do list...
The list has magically disappeared from the counter, so I have to scrap for a yellow pad in the office, and when I find one I must re-create the list of course.
I want the list to be seen, so I must clear all clutter from the kitchen counter and place it right smack in the middle all alone for emphasis.
While I am admiring the beautiful honey-do list on the otherwise cleared kitchen counter, I remember I was going to make a phone call, but as I am glancing at the phone I realize I need to use the ladies' room, and there are rules, you know... Um... Just a minute...
I go upstairs because my own toilet is the only one I trust to be its cleanest at all times, and while I am climbing the stairs I gripe about this, and when I arrive I notice the toilet paper roll was left empty.
Cool.
I run (read: RUN!) back downstairs and find that the downstairs bath is also paper-free.
Not cool.
I run (RUN!) to the clock and realize that the kids will be home from school in about 30 minutes and grab my keys and (RUN!) out the door to squeeze in an emergency trip to the store...
While I fumble for my keys, I once again notice the phone, but my pressing bladder grants me permission to dismiss it, AND the half folded pile of laundry....
On the way to the store I think about all the stuff I want to say on the phone. I also hope the store restroom is clean and that they have those handy paper thingies to sit on, because my legs are sore from Pilates and I am not in the mood to hover. And, when you call in a few days I will actually remember having been on the phone with you all day and think you are crazy for thinking I didn't call.
'Cept that I am the crazy one. 'Cause I have this disorder that keeps me from picking up the telephone...
HOW DO YOU DO IT, PEOPLE?
Do you have anything you just can't seem to do, no matter how simple it seems?
LOL - thanks for keeing it real sister! I had no idea you were a not-fond-of-talking-on-phone kind of sister, LOL.
ReplyDeleteThe phone's primary purpose for me has always been to arrange the next time to just meet up.
ReplyDeleteNow that there is text messaging, she (the home telephone) is sorely neglected and practically obsolete... a problem for my loved ones afar.
But now there is facebook... Oy...
No cure in sight.
I hear you. I soooo hear you! Not just for the things that you want to do but also for the things that people try to hold you accountable for. Like being late! There isn't one answer that is good enough. Its exactly what you've listed. Every time!
ReplyDeleteI myself have said something similar about the phone for years, but it the fact that I can never answer the phone because I have just landed on the toilet and can't move. I marvel at the timing of it all. WoW!