"I'm DONE With This Dirt!"

We have all been there.

D.O.N.E.

Just over it.

In this case, Isaac's famous words referred to actual dirt. 
We were wandering a half mile trail through Usery Park when we came across a fork connecting us up with another trail. 

We got adventurous.

We turned onto the other trail.

Which was a two and a half mile trail. 

We figure we caught it with about 2 miles left to go...

The sun began to go down.

We heard coyotes.

We got a little tired...

(and perhaps a little nervous that we had turned down a trail taking us to Egypt).

...and no other words captured the general feeling better than Isaac's profound

"I'm done with this dirt!"

A phrase that has since found its permanent place within our home.

Some examples of other
dirt I am done with:

Drama Queens.

Negativity.

Taxes.

Whitney.
(The sitcom.)
(Ever since the dramatic recent story line change - they have lost me I'm afraid.)

Muffin Top.
 (The tummy one, not the yummy one.)
 (I caved and bought the size up pair of jeans I have been working on since the holidays.)
 (Just one pair though. And I will never tell you the size.)

Isaac. Hiking South Mountain. New dirt.

We May Be On To Something...

If we have spoken recently, then I could not resist monopolizing a bit of your time griping about Isaac's laid back approach to potty training. 

He is in this constant state of evolution, as is the case with most 3 year olds, and I am discovering new things about his personality daily. 

Today's discovery = Possible passive-aggressive tendencies. 

Observe:

Perhaps you, like Pumpkin, are unsure of what you are looking at.

Here's a close-up...

It may be a bit optimisic of me, but I am going to consider this a sign that things are moving in the right direction.

I Have Sinned.

I have taken a harlot, and her name is Thrifty's Chocolate Malted Krunch Ice Cream.

Even I, at my most faithful and strong, was powerless against her powers of seduction. 

Beware!

Bring her into your home and she will have you eating right out of her carton with an oversized spoon before you can say muffintop.

Hello?...

I have a disorder that prevents me from picking up the telephone.   I want to, but just as I am reaching for the receiver I notice that I left 2 piles of unfolded laundry on the living room floor...

I go to fold the laundry and half way through I notice one of Joey's dirty T-shirts discarded in the pile...

I march that T-shirt to the laundry room in a huff, and while I am there I get a whiff of the cat litter box.  That's Not My Job Darn It, so I go to add it to the honey-do list...

The list has magically disappeared from the counter, so I have to scrap for a yellow pad in the office, and when I find one I must re-create the list of course.

I want the list to be seen, so I must clear all clutter from the kitchen counter and place it right smack in the middle all alone for emphasis. 

While I am admiring the beautiful honey-do list on the otherwise cleared kitchen counter, I remember I was going to make a phone call, but as I am glancing at the phone I realize I need to use the ladies' room, and there are rules, you know...  Um... Just a minute...

I go upstairs because my own toilet is the only one I trust to be its cleanest at all times, and while I am climbing the stairs I gripe about this, and when I arrive I notice the toilet paper roll was left empty.

Cool. 

I run (read: RUN!) back downstairs and find that the downstairs bath is also paper-free.

Not cool.

I run (RUN!) to the clock and realize that the kids will be home from school in about 30 minutes and grab my keys and (RUN!) out the door to squeeze in an emergency trip to the store...

While I fumble for my keys, I once again notice the phone, but my pressing bladder grants me permission to dismiss it, AND the half folded pile of laundry....

On the way to the store I think about all the stuff I want to say on the phone.  I also hope the store restroom is clean and that they have those handy paper thingies to sit on, because my legs are sore from Pilates and I am not in the mood to hover.  And, when you call in a few days I will actually remember having been on the phone with you all day and think you are crazy for thinking I didn't call.

'Cept that I am the crazy one.   'Cause I have this disorder that keeps me from picking up the telephone...

HOW DO YOU DO IT, PEOPLE?  

Do you have anything you just can't seem to do, no matter how simple it seems?

Wonderful Wonderland

Well, we think so anyhow.
Saw this in 3D with the little ones and it got 2 thumbs up from everybody.
Is it the movie of the year? Probably not, but if you love your storybook adventures like we do, then you will enjoy it.

And, well, you know that no amount of make-up can make Johnny go wrong for me.

I have seen it 3 times.

No shame.

P.S. When did the scrappy blue-red 3D glasses get the upgrade to plastic ones that actually work and wear well? I was dreading the 3D until I got a pair of those bad boys - now I am all about it!
See it in 3D with the fancy glasses!

All Hail The King!

King of my heart.

King of the TV remote control.

King of the chocolate milk. And don't you forget that. Because if you dare touch the king's chocolate milk,

then off with your head.

And, King of Getting Into Everything.

Seriously, he gets into everything.

Like the bathroom cupboards.

It brings the king great joy to host his own private q-tip and cottonball snowdays right here in Arizona.

And also the freezer.

Because cool things happen to things from the freezer that you hide in other places, like the clothes dryer.

Especially bags of frozen chicken breasts in the clothes dryer.

Great fun.

And my secret stash of Hot Tamales.

(Sorry about that one Your Highness... if I had known the King was so adept at maneuvering counter height stools to upper kitchen cabinets I may have chosen to crave a less spicy treat. Or hide it better...)

And, today,

Ah, yes,

today he was the king of getting into the teensy space between the driver's seat of my car and the console, from which he extracted my cell phone so that he could call Dora the Explorer.

(!)

Yep, the same cell phone that has been missing for about 4 days.

Royal treatment earned.

The End.

O' Cell Phone, Where Art Thou?

Ever lose your cell phone, but not realize it until the battery had run down?

Stinks to be me right now.

P.S. If you need me, don't call my cell phone.

(Until further notice.)

(Hopefully nearer than further notice.)

If I used swear words, I would cut one loose right now.

I DO NOT Like Green Eggs & Ham...

And you shouldn't either. 

For example:

IF your family decided to go on a 4 day roadtrip,

and IFduring the early morning hours on the first day of the roadtrip your parents bought 6 Breakfast Jack sandwiches from Jack in the Box for breakfast-on-the-go,

and IF only five of the six sandwiches were eaten that morning because your little sister wasn't really hungry that morning...

I'm just saying...

IF, on the way home from your roadtrip during the evening hours of day four you discover that your sister had stashed her Breakfast Jack from day number one under the seat of the car,

and IF you realized that dinner time was nearing and you were feeling quite hungry,

IF this happened to you,

I would still recommend that you pass on eating the 4-day-old Breakfast Jack.

Strongly.

And,

had he asked,

I would have advised my eldest son the same thing.

And now he knows why.

Shortly after arriving home from seven hours on the road, my son experienced several rounds of the most spastic hurling he had ever known.

And I experienced the cleaning up of the first several rounds of it.

Once color returned to his face, my son recounted a not-so-hypothetical story about a boy and a petrified Breakfast Jack very similar to the example I just shared with you.

Very, very similar.

I would be a little grumpy right now except for the part at the end, when my son says to me "Mom, I am so sorry, you probably would have told me not to eat it.  I should listen to you more."

And then the angels started singing.

You can't buy that kind of education.

The End.

Buzz...

Merry Christmas!!

I have missed you! 
I hope that you are making wonderful moments with your friends and family like I am.

I am looking forward to spending more time with you in the New Year.  Until then, well, my holiday hiatus continues while I eat pie, then go to the gym to work off the pie... play with my kids, then hide the toys without volume control... make lovely meals presented on lovely tables to serve to lovely people... lovely lovely lovely... 

Be back soon!!
X's and O's